


Christmas & Winter Drabbles

by vlaplomb



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fluff, No Angst, Snow, Winter, looking for angst? you won't find it here, so here are some, there were 12 but I forgot to finish, there's only one crack drabble, this is the fluffiest crap I've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28162026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vlaplomb/pseuds/vlaplomb
Summary: A collection of drabbles fluffier than snow :'>Table of Contents:1. Mischievous Mistletoe (lauki, kywi, lula)2. Snowy Spar (lauki) (not angsty I swear)3. Stealthy Santa (lauki parents)4. Festive Fruitcake (office mayhem)5. Sweet Surprise (lauki and kywi parents)6. Gruesome Grinch (hermann slander, HEAVY CRACK)7. Overdue Ornament (kywi parents)
Relationships: Kym Ladell & Kieran White, Kym Ladell & Lauren Sinclair, Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White, Lila Desroses & Kieran White, Lila Desroses/Lukas "Grumpy Cat" Randall, William Hawkes & Kieran White, William Hawkes & Lauren Sinclair, William Hawkes/Kym Ladell
Comments: 33
Kudos: 80





	1. Mischievous Mistletoe

“So...Greychapel tonight?”

Lauren sighed, rolling her eyes as she leaned against the doorway to the archives. “Same as every night, I suppose.”

“It’s becoming a routine.” Kieran smirked, swatting at the air with a file folder. “One of these days, we’ll find something, officer.”

Brow furrowing, Lauren glanced down the hallway. “I hope you’re right. Are you coming back with me to the patrol unit office?”

“I suppose I will.” Kieran chuckled as he strolled over to the door. “Wouldn’t want to fail to walk my girlfriend down the hallway and neglect her so.”

Lauren silenced him with a stony glare, cinching her hair tighter. At least she thought that was what silenced him. A moment passed, then two. “You coming?” She glanced up at him, catching his eye as he stared at her, transfixed. His eyes averted, glancing toward the wall. “What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?”

“You still have pillow marks on your face.”

She laughed and he grinned. “That’s not going to work again. What is it this time?”

“Well…” Pursing his lips, he tipped his head to face the ceiling. “I think someone is having a bit too much fun around here.”

Lauren lifted her gaze, eyebrows jumping up her forehead. Mistletoe. Taped to the ceiling. With electrical tape.

How festive.

“Why do I feel like you put it there?” she asked, tapping her foot.

“It wasn’t me.”

“Well, you’re not lying, so-”

Kieran took a step past her. “Let’s get back to the office room - don’t you leave for patrol in a couple minutes anyway? They’re probably wondering where you are.”

Lauren reached up, tugging at his suspender. “Hey, where are you going?”

“I-” And he fell silent.

It was just a peck, and Lauren felt dumb not even a second after. _You just kissed the freaking Purple Hyacinth. Are you dumb? ARE YOU DUMB? You could have easily gotten out of that, he didn’t even want to go through with it-_

“Why?”

Lauren snapped out of her internal harangue. “Because,” she said, releasing a nervous laugh, “it’s the law. You _have_ to kiss under the mistletoe. Didn’t you know?”

“I break the rules for a living. But-” he glanced up again- “if you’re in the mood to follow the rules for once today, I guess I should inform you that you’re still under the mistletoe.”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“Well.” He tipped his head in the direction of the office room. “I imagine you still have another minute. It just so happens that I do as well.”

“So you can follow the rules when you’d like to.”

Kieran just grinned a stupid, lazy grin, before leaning down to capture her lips again.

* * *

“Ms. Desroses.”

“Lukas, how many times will I have to tell you to call me Lila before you finally do it?”

He shrugged, planting his palms on the front of her desk to lean there. “Lila.”

She grinned, eyes sparkling, radiating. “That’ll do.”

“There’s…” he frowned, drumming his fingers on the desk. “There’s a plant taped to the ceiling above your desk. And I was wondering if you’d like me to get it down. It could fall in your coffee, you know.”

Laughing with the sound of Christmas bells, Lila paused, fingers still hovering over her typewriter. “Lukas, that’s mistletoe.” He stared at her blankly. “A holiday decoration.”

“Still looks kind of precarious - I mean, why put it on the ceiling?”

“You’re supposed to…” she fell silent. “Yeah, I don’t know, that’s kind of odd, don’t you think? You know what, sure, you can come take it down-”

“I know what it’s for!” Kym exclaimed, practically falling out of her chair. “You’re supposed to kiss the person under the mistletoe!”

The entire office fell silent, because yes, the room was almost full - save for Sinclair’s noticeably empty desk. Lukas pressed his lips into a line, staring Kym down with steaming menace. “Thank you for disturbing the peace.”

“You say as if this office was tranquil in the first place.”

Lila stood quickly from her chair, turning both of their heads in her direction. “I forgot my mug in the break room.” They all watched as she filed out of the room, head ducked, face slightly pink.

A couple of silent seconds passed before the normal pre-patrol chatter resumed. “I- I’ll be back,” Lukas muttered, running a hand through his hair as he stalked out of the room. Where am I even going? he thought uselessly, for his feet were already well on their way to the break room just down the hall. He paused in the doorway upon seeing Lila leaning against the counter, cleaning her already pristine glasses. Just before he’d started to turn away, their eyes met.

“That was awkward!” Lila said, laughing lightly as she replaced her glasses on the bridge of her nose. Lukas grunted in mild agreement. “I mean, imagine kissing someone in front of all of your coworkers! Kind of embarrassing.”

Lukas hummed in agreement, bumping his shoulder against the wall. _Wait_. He lifted his head, eyes narrowing. “So that bothers you. But not me?”

“Why would you bother me?” she asked, tossing him a genuine grin. “You’ve always been nice to me. I appreciate it.”

He shut his eyes, massaging his forehead. “That’s...common decency.”

“Well, there are other things I enjoy about you too!” She flushed, removing her glasses again to clean them...again. “I mean- yeah.”

Lukas chuckled slightly, and rather than looking startled at the difference, Lila beamed back. He took a step forward, crossing the room to stand in front of her. “I think...I think I owe you a kiss.”

“I was hoping you might say that.”

* * *

“Well, that was a bust,” Kym mumbled, dragging her feet along the street.

Will groaned, beckoning her along. Their patrol had split, and it was just him and her now, for some unfortunate reason. “What was a bust, exactly?”

“The mistletoe!” She pouted, blowing a stream of air upwards that crystallized before brushing back her bangs. “I hung some up in the archives, and I don’t think they found it. I haven’t seen Kieran all day, and Lauren was late for patrol - she must be too busy to notice stuff like that.”

 _Ah yes, and the reason she was late must have been because she sprinted across the precinct, because she arrived with her face nearly as red as her hair. What the hell?_ Will glanced at the extremely intelligent sergeant, who was acting exceedingly dense at the moment, sideways. “And above Lila’s desk-”

“Right? I thought they liked each other, but I must have gotten the signs all off. Lila ran off blushing, and Lukas looked like he wanted the sweet release of death.” She squinted into the sun. “Wait, that’s normal.” Biting his lip, he nodded. Honestly, for all he knew, they were probably also fake dating like Lauren and Kieran. It seemed like a reasonable reaction to him.

“Was that all? Usually you have several office couples you try and hook up.”

“Well, I hung one in Hermann’s office,” Kym said glumly. “But I think he took it down. I walked past earlier on my way to the archives, and it was gone.”

Will fingered the stalk in his pocket. “How interesting.”

“I know right? I have my bets that Hermann was just afraid no one would kiss him because he’s too mean. Or ugly. Or both.”

“Mhmm.” The leaves bit into his skin slightly as he pinched it, twirling it in his pocket as they rounded a corner. “Is that all?”

She sighed. “Yes. What a boring year. Not even one worked out.”

Will looked away from her, turning towards the shops they were passing, but could still see her in the reflection of the windows. Her eyes were downcast, and she was still wearing a small smile, and oh stars, if he could just-

“I... you know how we could make one work out?” he started, not pausing his steps. Kym stopped in her tracks, however, letting him gain a few feet on her.

“How?”

Inhaling sharply, he spun around, whipping the sprig from his pocket. She stared at it, wide-eyed. “Where did you get that?”

He dangled it over her head, heart beating rapidly. “You don’t need to know.”

“You devil! You were the one who took it down from Hermann’s ceiling, weren’t-”

“Pick one: kiss me or watch two middle-aged-”

And she was on him, lip to lip, arms around his neck, his still holding the mistletoe in the air. Tentatively, he dropped it, opting to cup her face instead. Just as soon as he’d gotten his hand where he wanted it, she was pulling away. “Easy,” she breathed, grinning at him. Her warmth was something he could bask in all day. “Ask me another one.”

He returned her smile. Well at least he was better than hermarch. “Alright, fine. Kiss me, or-” She stood on her toes, lips meeting his again. “I didn’t finish,” he murmured against her.

“Still easy.”

What wouldn’t be easy would be getting back to patrolling the precinct like they were supposed to-

But what crimes were going to happen here, honestly, while everyone was staring at the random cops making out on the street?


	2. Snowy Spar

Lauren’s feet sank into the snow as she walked, the crystalline white grazing the line where her mid-shin boots met her pants. Caked with snow, they weren’t doing much to keep her from slipping.

“You okay there, officer?” Kieran asked, turning to smirk at her. She swatted in his general direction, but the foot of icy quicksand piled around her prevented her hand from making contact with his coat.

“Very much so,” she said as she trudged another couple of feet. “It’s just a bit deep back here.” The forest near his cave didn’t have the same snow cleanup arrangements as downtown Ardhalis, obviously, and so their trip back to town was proving to be a cold and tiresome one. The snowy white crunched beneath their feet.

“Well, pardon my forwardness, but you really don’t seem to be fairing very well. Do you need me to carry you again?”

Lauren scoffed. “I think I’d prefer to freeze to death, thank you very much.”

“Duly noted.” Kieran took several wide steps forward, sinking easily through the snow due to his longer legs and feet. With a sigh, Lauren took another measly step.

“I think you’ll be pleased with this, officer!” Kieran called back to her.

“And why is that?”

“There’s a shaded area up ahead that doesn’t have as much snow on the ground.”

She swiped at her forehead and freezing nose, pressing forward at the prospect of simpler ground to cover. “Finally,” she exclaimed, strolling along at a normal pace. “I can walk like a normal person again.”

Kieran didn’t appear to hear her, still several meters ahead of her. An idea struck her, and a grin curled across her face.

Crouching down, she scooped a substantial bit of snow into her gloved hands, packing it tightly until it was an icy ball about the size of an apple. With a muffled grunt, she heaved it overhand towards her partner in crime. It shattered on impact.

“Ack!” Kieran whipped around, white splinters of snow still scattering around him. “What was that for?”

Lauren rolled another clump of snow between her hands. “It seems in all of the circus related confusion, we forgot our weekly spar.”

“Do you want to head back?”

“No, I want to spar right here.” Lauren chucked the snowball in her hand at him, landing it squarely in the middle of his chest. “Right now.”

“Darling, it seems you’re forgetting that we don’t carry knives when we go into town.”

“Who said we need knives?” She cackled, darting back to where they’d come from, where the snow was more plentiful, to scoop up her next round of ammunition. “I think snow will suffice.”

Snorting, Kieran began to gather his own snow. “You clearly underestimate my ability to absolutely obliterate any opponent in a snowball fight.”

“Well, you might have taken part in many snowball fights in the past,” Lauren said, stacking a handful of snowballs at her feet, “but I can guarantee you’ve never had one with me.”

As she stooped over to collect more snow, an icy projectile slapped her in the face, nearly knocking her over. “Not bad, White,” she called, rubbing her face. Yes, this was a dumb idea. Yes, they had other, more pressing matters to attend to.

But even assassins, police officers, and vigilantes deserve to have fun every once in a while.

She ducked behind a tree, narrowly escaping the frozen wrath of Kieran’s latest toss. Muttering unsavory words under his breath, something about her cheating, he found his own tree to take refuge behind.

“Four!” he cried, throwing a snowball in Lauren’s direction. His exclamation gave her just enough time to duck out of the way.

“Maybe you should consider not announcing your next move,” she shot back with another snowball, grazing his head. Eyes narrowing, he combed the white flecks out of his hair.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so hypocritical.”

“Oh, we’re not going there today,” she said with a chilly laugh, forming another snowball between her hands. The melting snow was beginning to soak through her gloves, nipping at her fingers.

“I’m sorry, I suppose that was a low blow,” Kieran said, the words tumbling after the snowball he’d just thrown. This one managed to hit Lauren in her stupor. “Would you like a free shot?”

“Bold of you to assume every shot I take at you isn’t a free shot.” A snowball hurtled at him, hitting him in the side of his head.

“Touche.” He leapt over her next throw, the snowball flying between his knees.

“Show-off,” Lauren remarked, wrapping herself around the trunk of the nearest tree to avoid being attacked. He didn’t reply, and she took it as a sign that she was in the clear to begin packing another round of snowballs for ammo.

Knelt down on the ground, her knees were already soaked. She didn’t mind - they’d have plenty of time to air out as they walked back into town from their secluded hiding place. Grinning, Lauren rolled a snowball on the ground, picking up ice until it was the size of Kieran’s head. “I can’t wait to see this hit his face. He won’t even know what hit him.”

A cold sting penetrated her thoughts as a several pound snowball crash landed on her head. Before she knew what was happening, Lauren found herself pinned back into the snow, only a couple inches deep here. A portion of her specialized weapon was still in her hand, the rest having been crushed in the impact.

“What was going to hit me?” Kieran asked, shifting his weight slightly. His breath was a sharp contrast to the cold air. “Before, of course, I so rudely foiled your plans.”

“Not much has changed since we first met, I suppose,” Lauren replied sweetly, taking the remaining chunk of snow in her hand and stuffing it between his neck and the collar of his shirt. Her grin only widened as she watched his face contort in discomfort. Fumbling for the ice sliding down his back, Kieran released her with his upper body, giving her just enough leverage to flip him over onto the icy ground.

“That wasn’t very fair of you, officer,” Kieran breathed, his hand blindly groping at the ground for more snow. Unfortunately for him, Lauren had already scavenged that area for her own uses, and there wasn’t much left for him to scrounge together. Laughing, she pinned his hand to the ground, ceasing his search.

“When was the last time I played fair?” Her long crimson locks tickled his cheekbone, and he twitched.

“I...I don’t…” He paused as she leaned closer, watching her intently. His heartbeat picked up under his several layers of clothing. “Lauren…”

Lauren crushed a snowball into smithereens squarely on his face, leaving him sputtering. “Amateur,” she said, dusting off her hands as she sat up, resting her weight on his stomach. He coughed. “I think I won. What do you think?”

“I think you cheated,” he hacked out.

“Why? What’d I do?” Seeing as he couldn’t answer, Lauren smirked, dusting the snow out of her hair. The tips of her locks were damp, darkening to a deep blood red. She wrung them out over him, one final icy splash to make him wince.

Finally turning back to him, she straightened her coat, still not standing up. He groaned under her, trying to pry himself free.

“You look terrible,” she said finally, standing.

“ **As do you**.”

“Aw, ever the flatterer.”

“Well, if I’m ever in a situation where snow is my only option for self-defense, I’d say I’m sufficiently prepared,” Kieran huffed, taking a couple of steps in the direction they had been headed.

Lauren caught up to him. “You’ll be no match for your opponent.”

“I’ll be fine. You’re just...unique.”

She tried not to think too much about what he meant by that statement, instead focusing on the dread building in her as she glanced ahead at the thickening layer of snow. It would be a long walk home - might as well make it entertaining. “What’s my prize for winning that spar? Do I get to choose our next mission? Be the one at the bar instead of the one under the dresser in the hotel room this time?”

Kieran glanced towards the white sky in a thoughtful trance, pursing his lips. Their hue bordered on purple after Lauren’s last snowball assault. “Your prize is a piggyback ride home.”

“I- no.”

“Don’t think I can’t see that expression on your face,” he said, tossing his head back in a gesture for her to hop on his back. “You know you don’t really want to make a fool of yourself trying to swim through that snow for another hour.”

“You know what? Fine.” Lauren clambered onto his waiting back, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Thanks for the lift.”

“Anytime, officer.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Lauren replied, “subordinate.”

And she cackled as Kieran nearly dropped her, attempting to catch the clump of snow she had just dropped down his shirt again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the original script:  
> Lauren: the snow is really deep  
> Kieran: you wanna know what else is really deep 😏  
> Lauren: not really  
> Kieran: tHE SHIT WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW


	3. Stealthy Santa

Air beneath his feet, Kieran stalks down the steps on his toes, his cargo cradled in his arms. The floor beneath him remains silent, the night pristine, as he fixes his eyes on the dim candle light reflecting off the picture frame at the bottom of the stairwell. Careful not to shift his load too much, he allows himself a small sigh as his foot makes contact with the solid expanse of the first floor.

He knows Lauren is watching his back from upstairs, ear pressed to the cracked door of the master bedroom, but he can’t be too careful. This is, after all, his most critical mission of the year.

As he rounds the corner and enters the living room, stepping more quickly now, his assassin footsteps still do not betray him. Kieran’s flashing blue eyes, normally the brightest fixture in the room, come to rest on his target. Her skirt spools outward on the floor, white and plain and vulnerable.

A smile cracks across Kieran’s face as he takes a step toward the tree, kneeling to set down his bag and untie the cincture at the top. As he withdraws packages one by one, placing them beneath the tree with care, he can recall exactly what lies behind each colorful Christmas dressing. This flat red box is a new set of colored pencils for Sophia, and this one decorated with snowflakes contained a music box for her he’d seen in a storefront downtown. Lauren had struggled to wrap this misshapen green package, a raccoon plush that she had insisted on getting for Nathaniel for a reason Kieran did not yet understand. Beside it was a recorder that Lauren knew was a horrible idea from the start, but Kieran failed to realize its problematic nature until after they’d bought the instrument. Hopefully Will would be able to give him music lessons before they all went so deaf that Lauren couldn’t even hear lies any more.

And here, Kieran had wrapped a gift for Lauren in gold matching her eyes just to spite her - a new notebook accompanied by a sketch of their kids he had drawn on the inside cover. He had wanted to get her a new dagger, but decided against wrapping it to place under the tree, lest one of the kids get their hands on it. Then, at the bottom of the bag, there is another package in brilliant red, unfamiliar.

Folding the bag and stowing it beneath the sofa, Kieran tucks the mysterious gift under his arm and tiptoes over to the fireplace, feet still feather-light. If anything good had come out of those years besides him meeting Lauren, it was that he could sneak around after the kids had gone to bed for just one night a year to keep their belief in Santa afloat just a little while longer. Grinning, he downs the glass of milk that Sophia had set out and settles the plate of cookies into his open palms. It was time to head back to the North Pole - the cold, dark, aloof North Pole.

“I could hear you rustling the bag from all the way up here, subordinate,” Lauren hisses, snatching his wrist from the hallway at the top of the stairs and dragging him back into the bedroom. “You useless criminal. How did you ever get anything done?”

“How did you ever get anything done, what with that loud mouth of yours?” Kieran counters, shuffling a tree-shaped cookie off the plate and whisking it at her like some sort of ninja star.

She ignores his question, deftly snatching the projectile cookie from the air. “I see you’ve returned with more than I requested.”

“Yes,” he says, hoisting up the box. “It’s quite cumbersome, heavier than anything else in my bag. I hadn’t seen it, so I thought it might be a bomb.”

“Don’t try me, subordinate,” Lauren scoffs. “We both know you’re really just impatient.”

“I waited so many years for the identity of the Leader.”

“Which should, in theory, make you all the better at waiting-”

“I also had to wait _ages_ for you to accept my proposal-”

“Perhaps that was because we’d never officially dated when you first asked me, and it seemed that the only time you remembered you wanted to propose to me was when we were amidst a near death experience.”

“My point is, I’ve done a lot of waiting.” Kieran settles back onto his side of the bed, tapping the box. “What do you say?”

“No.”

“I mean, won’t it be _embarrassing_ when I get so emotional opening your _heartfelt_ gift tomorrow morning that I begin torrentially sobbing in front of the kids and become all lovey-dovey and Sophia pretends to vomit into her brother’s lap but then ends up _actually_ vomiting by accident-”

“Open it.”

Kieran smirks, twiddling a pocket knife. “That’s what I thought.”

“Can you open a gift like a normal person?”

“ _I’m not like other guys_ ,” he says haughtily, slicing the bottom of the box. Lauren turns, stuffing the rest of her cookie into her mouth. Blinking, he holds up the machine blankly. “A polygraph?”

“You’ll wake the kids. Use an inside voice,” Lauren says, falling back against her pillow.

“Don’t choke,” Kieran mutters, eyeing her as she continues to chew her cookie. “What are the implications of this?”

“Well, I don’t know, they were doing away with some old models at the station, and I thought you and the kids would have fun trying it out. Seeing what it’s like.” 

“That we will,” he says with a chuckle. “The kids will be thrilled to be in on it, too.”

She smirks. “We could test its accuracy against my ability.”

“I think we all know who would win,” Kieran replies, returning the expression.

“Hmph.”

He scoffs. “I’m a truthful man. But anyway, thank you for the gift, darling.” Setting the box back down on the ground, Kieran wraps an arm around Lauren, bringing her in towards him. She rests her forehead on his sternum. “You’ll always be my preferred polygraph, though.”

A faint gagging sound from the hallway meets his ears.

“Sophia, get back in bed,” Lauren hollers into Kieran’s chest, and he can feel the way her eyebrow furrows and a smile hints at her face. He bites back a grin upon hearing Sophia’s footsteps retreat back down the hall. Kieran knew it was unlikely she would ever obtain the stealth of her parents - much to his relief. The last thing he wanted was for either of their kids to follow in their - _his_ \- footsteps.

Although he had to admit - his quiet footfalls did come in handy occasionally.


	4. Festive Fruitcake

“Guess what I brought today!”

Kieran paused in the doorway of the patrol office room, peering in to see Lila hoist up a white box tied with twine, a holly leaf tucked beneath the knot. Officers around the room glanced up from their work to smile at the cheery secretary.

“Is it a Christmas melon?” Kym asked, swooping over to lean on the front of Lila’s desk. “I haven’t had a watermelon in so long that I’ll literally marry you.” Kieran’s eyes darted towards William to see if he was taking notes. He just looked annoyed.

“That’s not it!” Lila laughed. “It’s a homemade fruitcake!”

Kieran could see Lauren paling even more than she already was in the corner of his eye. Kym’s toothy smile instantly faltered, clearly unbeknownst to Lila. “Everyone seemed to enjoy it so much last season that I thought I’d bake another one!” the secretary explained, fiddling with the twine. It seemed the entire office had frozen in place, reminiscent of the icy outdoors. “Does anyone want to take a break and have some?”

Will cleared his throat, smiling brilliantly. “Thank you, Ms. Desroses, but I think it’s time for our patrol.” Lauren raised an eyebrow but eagerly took her coat from its place on the back of her chair. How unfortunate that this copout patrol that Will had conjured up didn’t include him.

“Wait-” Lukas started, standing from his chair in confusion.

“All hands on deck, Randall,” Will said, beckoning for him to join the rest of the unit. With a sigh, Lukas donned his coat, his limbs moving through quicksand. Flouncing out the door with her own coat, Kym brushed past Kieran as she left.

“Sucker,” she whispered, lips curling into a borderline evil smile.

“Like I wanted to go patrol in the cold with you cowards,” Kieran replied with a nonchalant dip of his glasses. Lauren responded with a light pat to the shoulder and a pitiful glance his way. Damn, it must be really bad if he even had Lauren’s sympathy.

That was when he realized: patrol included everyone in the room _except_ for Kieran and Lila.

And her fruitcake, which had taken on a sort of persona of its own.

Kieran shuddered. It was nothing against Lila’s baking, he just had a particular loathing for fruitcake for no particular reason - as did the entire rest of the office, or so it seemed. Perhaps his distaste was because he knew nothing could compare to the perfection that was his beloved cherry cheesecake. Maybe it was something about the red and green orbs dotting the characteristically chunky cake that Lila was unboxing.

“Well, that’s alright,” Lila said, seemingly unfazed. “Maybe I should see if Captain Hermann wants some-”

Oh, heck no. “Ms. Desroses!” Kieran blurted out, ducking through the doorway.

“Kieran!” Lila exclaimed, eyes meeting his. “I didn’t realize you were still here. Would you like some fruitcake?”

Kieran gulped. “I would love some.”

With a little bit of luck, the alcohol content in the cake was enough that it would render Kieran unable to taste the rest of the abomination.

Masking a grimace with his cheerful coffee boy smile, he dragged Kym’s chair over to Lila’s desk. “Do you have a knife?” Lila asked with a pleasant smile.

Kieran shuffled, feeling the dagger strapped to his leg under his pants, the pocket knife stowed in his right pocket, the switchblade running along his foot in his shoe. He would never have worn them to the office, except he had a meeting with the messenger after work. “No.”

“I’m only kidding!” she said, her laugh resounding like bells around the office once again. “After all, why would an archivist have a knife on him? Or anyone in the department, for that matter. I’ll see if I can find one in the break room.”

Kieran nodded, watching her retreating form as she disappeared around the corner. Relaxing, he leaned forward to inspect the dessert. His first thought was that Lauren could definitely find a way to kill him with this brick of a cake - surprising, considering he did more of the killing between the two of them. He found himself wondering if the cake was capable of breaking a window to get him out of there. Cringing, he reached out a hand to test the golden crust of the dessert.

“Found a knife!” Lila called, waltzing back into the room with a plastic serrated knife. “I hope this works!”

Visions of having to break the cake with his bare hands danced in Kieran’s head.

Lila bit her lip, sawing at the loaf with her plastic weapon.

“I’ll help you,” Kieran said quickly, standing to offer a hand.

“Thank you! You are such a gentleman!” Lila gushed, placing the plastic knife in his hand. Kieran gulped as he began to saw away at the fruitcake. After a minute or two of silence and absolute agony, the fruitcake was cut neatly into ten slices. Lila retrieved a stack of paper plates from - inside her desk?? Sighing, Kieran twirled the knife around his fingers.

“Wow, you’re quite skilled at that,” Lila commented.

With wide eyes, Kieran dropped the knife, fumbling to catch it. “Ah, it must be from… spinning pencils, in uh, archivist school.” _Dammit_. She giggled anyway. “Say, Ms. Desroses, I just had a wonderful idea.”

“And what would that be?”

“How about we wait for everyone to get back so they can have some too! I’ll help you serve it. I wouldn’t want for us to go ahead and have some now and accidentally eat all of it without them.”

Lila brightened. “That is a brilliant idea! I’ll dish the pieces, and if you’d go set one on each person’s desk…”

Kieran grinned, for reasons that Lila might never know. “Gladly.”

An hour passed, then two, then three. Finally, a vengeful grin crept across Kieran’s face as he recognized through the window the primary palette that was his _beloved_ officer and her friends strolling up the steps to the APD office, returning from their impromptu patrol. They would learn to never leave him to burn in ~~hell~~ the office ever again.

Their snow-trodden footsteps sounded through the room, plodding over the carpet as they trudged to their desks. “Oh, what’s this?” Kym asked, her delighted tone masking her horror. Kieran’s gaze bore a hole in his paperwork, which he’d elected to sit at an unoccupied desk in the patrol office and complete so he could watch the drama unfold.

“Well, _Kieran_ had the lovely idea for us to wait until you all returned so we could all enjoy the cake together!” Lila exclaimed, strangely having taken no cake for herself. Kieran raised an eyebrow at this new observation - perhaps there was more to her than originally met the eye.

“Oh did he?” Lauren sang, spinning to face him. Without so much as a glance to her, Kieran swallowed his pride - and a bite of fruitcake. And - _oh, shiitake mushrooms_ \- he immediately felt his throat start to close around the gritty, extremely overbaked, might-have-tasted-fine-if-it-contained-half-the-ingredients-or-didn’t-exist-at-all cake.

“Kieran, are you choking?” He glanced up to see his partner in crime towering over him, glaring down through her lower eyelashes. _This is the most she’s said to me in front of anyone other than Kym and Will in the whole time I’ve been here,_ he thought cheerily as he shook his head, trying to cough out an I’m fine. “Good,” Lauren said, turning almost away - but not before raising an eyebrow and blowing him a kiss over her shoulder.

It was then that Kieran actually started choking, and it wasn’t until after the events had unfolded that he realized that Lauren making him choke and having to give him the Heimlich was 1) just another way for her to assault his ribs and 2) a diversion so that Kym could chuck every single plate of fruitcake out the window without being noticed.

Except for Kieran’s slice. Of course.


	5. Sweet Surprise

“Honey, they’re here!”

“Oh, good.” Lauren tossed her flour-dusted apron aside, patting Kieran’s shoulder as she passed him. Small footsteps pounded down the hallway. They never had been as quiet as their father. “I’ll get the door, you get the kids.”

“Why do you always give me the hard jobs?” he whined facetiously, already removing his oven mitts. Snickering, Lauren made her way to the door, already seeing the Hawkes family starting up their front sidewalk. “Gotcha!” she heard Kieran say, laughing as the kids shrieked. As she opened the door, she turned to see Kieran carrying a child under each arm like they were footballs. She sighed. _Well, at least Kym and Will are used to it by now_.

“Merry Christmas!” Kym yelled, crashing into Lauren as she always did - as though she’d just had a close call with death. “Ah, it already smells good in here. I guess that means you’ve stayed out of the kitchen.”

“You talk as if your skills are any better,” Lauren huffed, peeling her friend off. Will staggered in the door finally, gift bags on both of his arms and balancing a bouncing Cecelia on his shoulders. As if it were instinctual, Kym swooped their daughter off his back, setting her down so her feet touched the ground. The blonde child, already laughing at the way Kieran was wielding Sophia and Nathaniel, took off running for her best friends and favorite not-uncle.

Will heaved a sigh of relief, setting the bags down in the foyer. “It’s good to be here.”

“We’re glad to have you guys,” Lauren said, hugging them both. “And it’s good to have you here, so I have some help taking care of the _four_ children.” Kym glanced up, startled, and Lauren laughed, tipping her head pointedly towards the three kids using Kieran as a jungle gym. “Sometimes it gets to be a bit of a zoo around here.”

Giggling, Kym shrugged off her earlier surprise. “Bold of you to assume I’m not a child as well. Looks like you and Will are on parental duty for tonight.”

“Correction: Will is on _kitchen_ duty.” Lauren crossed the living and dining rooms to the kitchen, pulling her apron off the counter to toss it to Will. He caught it deftly, eyes already set on the turkey sitting out on the stove. “Kym, you and I can watch the kids for a bit while the guys work, if that’s alright.”

“More than alright!” Kym pried Sophia off of Kieran’s back. “Give her up, Kiki, you get to spend all day with her. I want some quality time with my favorite niece!”

Relenting, he handed off all of the kids to his wife and her friend. “Will and I will be in the kitchen if you need us.”

Will twisted at his ring finger. “If I’m going to be carving the turkey, shouldn’t I probably remove this-”

“No!” Kym took hold of his hand, jabbing the band further onto his finger. “It’s fine.”

“My finger is already turning purple.”

“Drama queen.”

Lauren rolled her eyes at their banter - they hadn’t changed a bit even since Kym’s first week at the 11th precinct office. Of course, by saying that, she was also admitting that the feelings were also there eons ago, and she was very much correct.

“So glad you chose to use the door, today, Kym.”

“Well she had to!” Cecilia started. “Because Mama’s-”

“Afraid of what Dad would do if I jumped in the window!” Kym finished.

Taking a seat on the sofa, Lauren smiled. _No lie there, but..._ “You never feared Will’s wrath before.”

“Well, he could take away all of my watermelon allowance for the week, and then what would I do? Drive myself to the store to go get some?” Kym took Sophia’s hand in one of hers, Nathaniel’s in the other. “Now who’s ready for our annual game of Christmas hide-and-seek?”

Lauren hoisted Cecelia up into her arms, a grin spreading across her face.

Half an hour later had them rushing to the dinner table at Will and Kieran’s call, breathless with laughter after finding little 3-year-old Nathaniel tucked inside his father’s desk. “Had a good time, I take it?” Kieran asked with a smirk, setting a steaming dish on the table.

“Oh, don’t be so sour,” Lauren shot back, situating Sophia in her seat. “I’m sure you and Will had a wonderful man-to-man talk.”

“We did, in fact!” Will exclaimed, eyes brightening. “Kieran even told me some stories of what you two actually did on some of your _Lune_ excursions.”

Scoffing, Lauren pulled out her own seat. “I’m sure he stretched the truth quite a bit.”

“Actually, I found most of it quite believable. Except for the sheer amount of places you made-”

“Kieran!” Lauren sang. “What happens in Lune stays in Lune - unless, of course, you’d be okay with it if I shared my side of the story at the dinner table?”

“Let’s not,” he said with a laugh, though knowing fully well that all Lauren would divulge was when he almost got them discovered at the Carmine Camellia, or when he made her wear that dreadful maid costume just for his own enjoyment of her agony. “Dinner’s ready, so how about we dig in?”

Lauren obliged, already dishing Nathaniel the mashed potatoes that she knew would be the only thing he’d eat all evening.

A long hour of chatter and eating later, she could sense the kids growing restless beside her. “Cecelia, Sophia, come help me get some gifts,” she offered, standing from her seat. Both girls leapt up, chair screeching behind them as they chased each other to the Christmas tree. Every time they got together, Lauren was thankful that they were almost the same age - it kept them amused while the adults talked, and they didn’t pay much attention to their stories. Nathaniel was still too young, he’d just stab his mashed potatoes for hours if they’d let him.

“Don’t run with those packages, girls,” Lauren said, holding out an arm as they each rushed past with a teetering stack of wrapping in every color of the rainbow.

“Sorry, Chief Lauren!” Cecelia yelled over her shoulder, slowing down. Lauren chuckled, the nickname getting to her as it always did.

When she returned to the table, bag in hand, the girls had already distributed most of the gifts. Kieran stole over to their side of the table, a hand on the back of Sophia’s chair. “Hey Soph, could I sit next to Mommy for a bit?”

“Oh-kay,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Why though?”

Kieran wrapped his arms around Lauren, who jolted upright. “Because I love her soooo much.”

Sophia gladly ran to the opposite end of the table, gagging as she jumped onto Will’s lap. “Save me, Captain,” she muttered.

“They weren’t always like that, you know,” Will commented.

“Oh, I know. Just the other day Mommy went after Daddy with a knife-”

“That’s enough talking for today!” Lauren laughed nervously. “You see, we were sparring, and-”

“You’d never hurt him,” Kym sighed, “we know.”

“...Yeah.” There were some things she and Will were just never going to know.

“Open this one first, Chief,” Cecelia said, pushing a lightweight bag in Lauren and Kieran’s direction. 

Lauren toyed with the handles, letting Kieran rest an elbow on her shoulder and lean over to try and look in. “I don’t know, maybe the kids should start.”

“No, no, open it,” Will said eagerly, taking Kym’s hand. “We’re excited about this one.”

Lifting an eyebrow, Lauren reached in to rummage around in the tissue paper, feeling something small and round floating around. She removed her hand. “A pendant! How pretty,” she said, running a thumb over the design etched in the silver. There was a daisy engraved on each side. “My favorite,” she said quietly.

“Open it,” Kym urged her. “It’s a locket.”

Lauren bit her lip, fiddling with the clasp. It popped open, revealing two pictures. “Aw, this is one of my favorite pictures of Cec!” she exclaimed. “But...what’s the other picture? Is that- it looks like-” It was smudged and grey, and looked like...

“That’s our son.”

“Your-” Lauren’s jaw dropped. “KYM.”

Kym clapped, grinning from ear to ear. “Cecelia is going to have a baby brother!”

Lauren leaned over to envelope Kym in a hug, vision going blurry through her damp eyelashes. “I’m so happy for you. Two is a lot of fun.”

“I hope so.”

“Wait a second…” Lauren said, turning to Kieran. “Did you- you knew, didn’t you? You knew! I-” she fisted his collar, her fingers already clawing for her butter knife.

“He didn’t! He didn’t,” Will said, shrinking under the accusatory glares of Kym and Lauren. “I told him...other stuff, but I didn’t tell him that.”

“Do I even want to know what you told him?” Lauren asked.

Kym slapped her back. “Probably not! It was probably just boring man stuff **because Will is a very boring man** , right, Will?”

“ **Right**.”

“The minors and I are going to take our leave and watch some television or something if you’re wanting to continue this conversation,” Lauren said pointedly.

“No, no, let the kids open their gifts,” Kieran replied, already bristling. Kym and Lauren shared a laugh, watching the kids - three of four, indeed, apparently - tear into their gifts unassumingly as their fathers glanced off to the side, paying extra special attention to the design of the gift bows.

The meshing of the Hawkes and Sinclair-White households at Christmastime was always a special gathering, in one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to mention that I hc that if (when) the main 4 all have kids, the kids call the opposite set of parents by their titles instead of aunt/uncle/etc. And they've all been promoted ofc ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ


	6. Gruesome Grinch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is crack 🗿  
> Recommended mood music: "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" (of course)
> 
> ALSO check out @diadsla 's Hermann Grinch cursed image on instagram. It truly is life-changing.

“BAAAAAAAAA.”

Hermann sighed, watching as all of the reindeer fled from the screaming goat’s penetrating scream. _Stupid goat, just had to foil all of my plans_ , he thought to himself. _I think I’ll name it Sinclair_.

His pet dog, March, looked up at him woefully, cocking his head to the side. Hermann delivered a pat to his head with another hefty sigh. “Well, there’s one reindeer left. I think he was too fat to run away.” The pair turned simultaneously to stare down the lone deer as the goat skipped off. “You know what, I’m naming you Tristan. For no reason. At all.”

This was only the first part of Hermann’s master plan: a plan to ruin Christmas for all of Ardhalis. Snow crunching beneath his feet, he strode over to Tristan. “I need a reindeer to pull my sleigh while I go steal all of the Ardhalisians’ decorations and shit and ruin their lives,” he said, staring down his nose at the pitiful specimen. “You in?”

Tristan was too scared by the prospect (and also not important enough to be discussed more), so he scampered off in the direction the rest of his herd had run. Balling his hand into a fist, Hermann punched his palm, snarling. “Well, March, I guess it’s time for you to learn how to pull a sleigh - once I get my hands on one, of course.”

March barked in response, cowering but determined to stay with his master until the bitter end. Nodding, Hermann trudged away from the scene, gazing over Ardhalis in evil rapture. “So we’re gonna get that sleigh. Find a Santa suit. Count the houses.” He smirked, the wrinkles on his green cardboard box face folding from their usual frown. “And then we’re going to steal Christmas.”

March howled.

#&(%#^%^&)(^#$^#^%^&(%&^%^$%$$#%$%^^&#

Meanwhile, in the heart of the town of Ardhalis, Lauren Sinclair was hatching her plan.

“The trap is set!” she called, and her friends erupted into cheers. “Who should we test it on?”

“I didn’t think we were going to test it on anyone. I figured we’d just wing it,” Kieran said, rolling his eyes. “Not it.”

“I offer Will as tribute!” Kym yelled simultaneously, before catching onto Kieran’s idea. Each of them tapped their noses with their fingers in rapid succession. Will and Lauren were quick to follow, leaving only…

“Dylan!” Lauren moved to pinch his uncovered nose, but he dodged her. “Our guinea pig. Will you please test the trap for us?”

He huffed. “I don’t want to.”

“Come on, it’s not like it’s a bomb or something!” Kieran drawled.

“Well then why don’t you do it?”

“I’m sure whoever tests the trap will win Lauren’s affection.” Everyone turned to Kym as she grinned in the technicolor light set off by the Christmas tree, eyes sparkling.

Suddenly, Dylan and Kieran both lunged for the cookie triggering the trap. Dylan, who was sitting closer, reached the treat first, closing his hand around the sugar cookie in the shape of a raccoon. The trap closed in on him, tearing off the Santa suit he was donning for some reason.

“Somebody come get her, she’s dancing like a stripper,” Kym and Kieran crooned in unison as Will chucked a sofa cushion at Dylan. Lauren just stood, pondering her trap.

“If I can’t figure out this trap correctly, I won’t be able to catch Sake- I mean, Santa Claus,” she muttered to herself. Pacing across the living room, she tossed Dylan’s clothes back to him and retrieved another cookie from the fresh batch. “Alright, Eclipse plus Dylan. We need to figure this out, once and for all. I need to know who the leader is.”

“The leader of what?” Will asked, brow furrowing.

Lauren glared down at her broken trap in defiance. “The leader...of Christmas.”

And so there they were on Christmas Eve, two opposing sides, two botched plans. But their plans wouldn’t stay botched for long.

@$%&$$^&(%@!$%*$%^(%#%@@%&$%^@@#!#$@#$#$#%@#$%*$% passage of time

Hermann dusted his hands of snow, crouching atop the roof of the final house on his mission. “Stay,” he whispered to March, heaving a leg over the chimney. “Last house. We’re almost done stealing Christmas.”

March wagged his tail, panting as he watched Hermann slide his chonky body down the brick chimney. As his companion disappeared from vision, Hermann felt himself draw nearer to the ground, his bag of stolen belongings tumbling down behind him. With an _oof_ , he landed in the fireplace, grey soot lifting off the ground and coating his boots. _At least the fire wasn’t lit, like in that other house,_ he thought, the memory of the fire still burning his ass.

Slowly and silently, he piled the gifts already placed beneath the tree’s low boughs into his trash bag, careful not to so much as creak the floorboards. Adjusting the red and white hat sitting on his head, he hoisted the tree over his shoulder, ready to funnel it up the chimney. He turned to scan the room behind him, looking for anything Christmassy that he could have missed-

A cookie, left out for Santa. Well, if he was taking all of their other things, he might as well gorge himself on their baked goods as well. With this in mind, he reached for the cookie.

 _Snap_. The next thing he knew, he was stripped down to his candy cane long johns beneath his Santa suit, because of course Hermann was a closet Christmas lover and of course he wore Christmas underwear.

He sprinted for the fireplace, but he wasn’t fast enough - a short, red-haired girl came sliding through the doorway at the speed of light.

“Santa!” she gasped, gold eyes wide. “You...you look so much different from the books.”

Wincing, Hermann rubbed his forehead. “Right.”

“You’re uglier. You look like a toe.”

He scoffed. “You’re not getting any presents for good reason, then.”

“I’m not?” Lauren’s eyes welled up, swimming with sorrow. “I take it back. You’re different than I imagined but-” she nearly choked on the words- “everyone is beautiful, in their own way.”

“Listen, kid,” Hermann said, taking a step towards her. She flinched as he bit the head off the raccoon cookie in one swift, aggressive motion. “I was just taking your tree because a light bulb had gone out. I was going to go fix it. But now I guess I’ll just take the whole thing.”

Lauren narrowed her eyes, cheeks puffing out. “You’re lying. Are you even Santa Claus?”

“Yes.” Hermann said. “No. Maybe?” Lauren’s eyes widened again, this time in confusion. “Just go back to bed. I have other houses to get along to.”

“No, I have to-” bOnk.

Hermann nodded in silent thanks to Bella, March’s goth girlfriend dog, who had just taken the opportunity to whack Lauren over the head. As he ascended up the chimney once more, Bella dragged an unconscious Lauren back up to her bedroom.

&*(*&^^$%$#$@@%&!#^$%#!#$@%$#$%&$^%&$@@^&

“I could have prevented this!”

The entirety of Ardhalis woke on Christmas morning to a barren town devoid of all Christmas decorations and the ear-splitting sobbing of Lauren into Kieran’s shoulder. Frowning, Kieran patted her on the head, raising an eyebrow at Kym as if to say, _What do we do?_

Kym leaned forward into Lauren’s face, examining her. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have possibly prevented this.”

“But I...I’m the blindest of all!” Lauren wailed in response, punching Kieran’s ribs. He took the hits silently, cringing along the way. “I heard him lie. Santa. Except he wasn’t really Santa. But maybe he was! I could have taken him out, I could have stopped him from going to the other houses and taking everyone’s things-”

“I know you didn’t mean to take all of my things,” Dylan said cryptically, patting Lauren on the knee. Her eyes welled with tears again.

“Listen, Lauren, I don’t know how I can make this any clearer to you, but this is not your fault.” Will straightened, combing his fingers through his hair. “Now I know what we can do to cheer you up.”

Lauren’s four best friends each took one of her limbs and dragged her out of the house and into the center of town, where Will kept his piano since that was the best place to keep a piano. The rest of Ardhalis was waiting for them. Will the prodigy played a handful of chords on the piano, and the entire town broke into an emotional rendition of the Lullaby.

From his perch on the mountain, Hermann began to tear up. Perhaps the Ardhalisians weren’t as trash people as he had originally thought. As he stood, his sleigh tipped over, tumbling his stolen goods over the cliff. Rushing to catch them, he fell over the edge, and March watched him fall. Fortunately, though, the godforsaken reindeer Tristan was standing below and was able to break his fall - although Hermann accidentally killed him in the process.

Hermann decided that murder would be his last crime.

The decorations slung over his shoulder, he entered the town of Ardhalis, joining where the citizens had gathered. “Hello, everyone, merry Christmas. I am-”

“A bitch!” Lauren exclaimed. Her friends glanced towards her in confusion. “That’s the weirdo claiming to be Santa Claus!”

Kieran pulled a sword out of nowhere and, without hesitating, sliced Hermann’s head clean off. “Wait, what about his redemption arc?” Kym asked, looking at the severed head forlornly.

“The only person capable of a redemption arc here is Kieran, even though he just committed a crime far worse than Wannabe Santa ever did,” Dylan reasoned. “It’s because people think he’s hot.”

“A life for a life,” Kieran said solemnly, ignoring Dylan’s statement. “He fell on my pet cat, Tristan.”

No one decided to argue him on what species his pet truly was, and the kids retrieved the bag of goodies, redistributing everyone’s stolen belongings back to them. Meanwhile, March looked down on the festivities, hardly mourning his master.

“I can do so much better than him. I knew that wasn’t going to be his last crime just because of a change of heart. And look, he died. Problem solved.” March barked all of this, but no one could understand him or hear him, so he lived a happy rest of his life with his goth gf Bella the poodle and left Lauren and her friends to their own devices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm....sorry?
> 
> \- this is supposed to be crack it's supposed to be bad  
> \- I wrote it at an ungodly hour  
> \- I got lazy so for the cursed folks, I'm sorry it's short, and for the normal people, you're welcome  
> \- I haven't watched the Grinch in forever so I based this off of an IMBd synopsis  
> \- I based it off the new movie bc I wanted to include as many characters as possible  
> \- any other discrepancies I hereby attribute to artistic licencing :)))


	7. Overdue Ornament

“There you are,” Will grunted, hefting Cecelia onto his shoulder so she could place the star at the top of their tree. Clapping, she slid it onto the topmost branch, delving her fingers into Will’s gold crown of hair for leverage. He winced as Kym laughed.

“It looks wonderful,” she said, even though it was lopsided and drooping downwards and they didn’t allow Cecelia to plug it into the rest of the lights herself. Those imperfections were what made it so wonderful.

“Thanks, Mama,” Cecilia replied cheerily, clambering off her father’s back to dart over to the box of ornaments and tinsel. “Can we hang up some ornaments before dinner?”

Kym sighed, plopping down on the sofa next to the box. “That’s for your dad to decide. He’s the one who has to cook, after all.” Cecelia turned towards Will with a hopeful shine in her eyes.

He smiled softly, crossing the room to the rest of his family with a purposeful stride. “Of course. I’ll just reheat some leftovers anyway; it won’t take long.”

“Yay!” Kym and Will grinned at each other over their cheering daughter. Neither of them had quite learned how to say no to her, even in four years.

“On one provision: I’ll take out the ornaments for you to hang,” Kym said, tapping her daughter on the nose gently before lifting out a couple of red and gold baubles. “How about you start with these?”

“Okay!” she said, bubbling over with enthusiasm as she took the ornaments and rushed over to hang them.

Will removed a fist-sized raccoon of blown glass from its tissue, smirking. “I remember this one.”

Laughing, Kym took it from him. “Cecelia, this is a favorite of mine. Why don’t you put it towards the center?”

She nodded as she picked it up, letting it dangle between her fingers. “Why a raccoon?”

“Your dad used to call me a raccoon,” Kym replied, giving Will a knowing look.

“Why?”

“Because she was always scavenging through the trash since she can’t cook for herself,” he joked, catching Kym’s eye. She rolled hers, picking up another ornament. “Just kidding. Because raccoons are cute.”

“Hm,” Kym said, covering her slight blush with her hand. “Here’s the piano one you’ve always liked.”

“Press the button on the side, remember?” Will said eagerly, turning her hand so she was staring at it. Once she obliged, a faint strain of the Lullaby began to play. “I saw it in a store one day and knew it was made for us.”

“Ah,” Cecelia said, taking the ornament from her mother. “It sounds better when Dad plays it.”

“Does it ever.” Kym ruffled her hair, sending her back to their greenery. “Will, this one was from your mother.” She held up an ornament shaped like an angel.

He smiled in recognition. “That was always one of her favorite Christmas symbols.” As Cecilia ran back up to the tree, clutching the decoration in her small hands, Will leaned his head on Kym’s shoulder. “I wish she could’ve known Cec.”

She pressed a kiss into his hair. “She’s smiling down at her, I can tell.”

Already, Cecelia was back at the box, standing on her toes to rummage through the ornaments. “Careful-” Will cautioned her as she dug through, pulling out an ornament in the shape of a sun.

“Do you have a story for this one, too?” she asked, holding it to let it sparkle in the light glowing from the Christmas tree. Her fingers toyed with it, unclasping it. She gasped. “It’s a box! There’s nothing inside.”

“Do we ever have a story for that one,” Will responded, leaning back into the couch.

“Oh no,” Cecelia said. “It’s a long one.”

Giggling, Kym pulled the curious child into her lap. “You’ll like it though,” she whispered in her ear, leaning back as Will told the story all over again, just as she remembered it.

_It had been April, the first day of the month. Kym’s birthday. That was the day she would never forget the urgency in Will’s eyes as he tugged at her shoulder, leaning down to mumble a request in her ear as she worked._

_She was to come out for patrol a few minutes early - he had something to brief her on, he said._

_“Not even a ‘happy birthday’?” she joked, poking him in the lapel. He flinched easily. “I’m just kidding, Will. I understand. I’ll see you there, 1:55 sharp.”_

_Nodding, he turned away, heading back to his desk. Or the storage room. Kym hadn’t really paid attention to where he’d gone - after all, to her, it was just another normal day at the eleventh precinct office, in which Will seemed to be acting especially odd._

_And finally 1:55 came, and the clock hadn’t run any faster or slower than what was customary. After all, to Kym Ladell, it was still just another day._

_“Willame!” she exclaimed, throwing open the glass door to the police department to find Will leaning against one of the grand pillars on the marble front steps. “What can I do for you?”_

_“Kym,” he replied, and that was her first indication that this wasn’t just another normal briefing of patrol. Maybe it was the way he said it. Maybe it was the fact that he’d said it in the first place. “I have some news.”_

_“Good or bad?” she asked, leaning against the pillar opposite him._

_“Good.” He smiled, shivering slightly in the cold. But it wasn’t that cold - it was April. “The best.”_

_“Well, spit it out!”_

_“The Darcys’ girl met another man at a dinner party and ended up getting engaged to him!”_

_Kym felt her jaw drop, practically unhinging itself. “Really?” she asked, trying to contain her excitement._

_“Really!” Will shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m a single man again.”_

_“Congratulations.” She resisted the urge to rush forward to embrace him. Something about his emphasis on single...did he want to stay that way?_

_“And Father wants me to become engaged again as soon as I possibly can.”_

_“Oh.” Kym furrowed her brow. Never mind. “Is this still good news?”_

_“Well, I hope so,” Will replied, retrieving a golden object from his coat pocket. Kym caught a glimpse of it flashing in the sun - it was a sun, in fact, its points reaching outwards to lure her in. Soleil. She hardly registered what was happening when Will dropped onto one knee, right there in front of the police station. “Because the woman I’ve wanted to marry for the longest time now is standing right in front of me.”_

_“Will,” Kym breathed. “What are you-”_

_“Kym Ladell, will you marry me?”_

“And then Mama said yes!” Cecelia finished with a grin, tipping her head back to look up at her father. Pale golden curls spilled down behind her. “Right?”

“Well…” Will chuckled a bit, catching Kym’s frowning expression. “Yes.”

“But actually no.”

“Hey-”

“I’m not one to sugar-coat, _Dad_ ,” Kym said pointedly. “You see, Cec… life isn’t always simple. I had to make sure your father was being legitimate.”

“Your mother was just skeptical of me-”

“Well, for good reason!” Giggling, Kym tied her hair back. “You made a habit of scolding me about my paperwork and anything else you could find wrong with me.”

“And you, of driving me up the wall!”

“Why did you get married then?” Cecelia inquired, inciting a laugh from both of her parents. 

“When you grow up, dear,” Kym said, pulling their daughter up from her seat, “you will understand.”

“Was that your favorite day ever, Mama?”

“Second only to the day you were born, honey,” Kym replied, combing through her long blonde hair again. “I had to wait for both for a very long time.”

Will released her hand, standing up from the couch. “Something we won’t have to wait very long for is dinner!” he exclaimed, picking up Cecelia to spin her around. “How about some reheated lasagna?”

Cecelia squealed in delight, standing on her father’s toes much as her mother once had as they danced around the living room. Kym was left to stand there, long lost in the sea of her own wandering memories.

_“Will,” she had said, reaching out to graze her hand against the side of Will’s face. “We haven’t even dated. Didn’t you say yourself that you don’t like to rush these things?”_

_He bit his lip. “We’ve known each other for a long time.”_

_“So...is this for convenience? So you can marry as quickly as possible to appease him?”_

_“Kym,” he said desperately, “of course not. I didn’t want to rush before because I needed time to figure out a way to get back to you.”_

_“Sorry,” she muttered, still numb from shock. “I just don’t understand why me-”_

_“Because you understand me like no one else does. Because you’re sweet and funny. You light up the office. And I love you.”_

_She froze. “You do?”_

_“With all my heart.” He opened the box, retrieving a gold ring with a dot of amber at the top. “I’ve...I’ve had this for a while now.”_

_Laughing, Kym swiped a tear away from her eye, one she hadn’t realized had been collecting there. “You kept it all this time?”_

_He laughed. “I couldn’t ask you while I was technically engaged to Miss Darcy! But I picked this with Soleil in mind. It doesn’t belong on anyone else’s hand.”_

_Kym’s face broke into a smile. “I can’t believe you, William Hawkes.” He didn’t get to say another word, because Kym had swooped down to thank him for the ring with a gentle kiss. “I’d like to say yes, but I feel like I ought to check with my parents-”_

_“I asked.” She pulled back to take a good look at him, surprised. “They said yes. I’ve been waiting for this day for a while, I guess.”_

_“I suppose so.” Kym held out her hand palm down, splaying her fingers. “In that case, I’ll marry you.”_

_“So it’s conditional?” he asked with a laugh, slipping the ring on her finger._

_“Well, I guess you could say I’ve imagined this day many times before.” She twisted the ring. “Of course, not actually expecting it to become a reality.”_

_“And here we are.” He pressed the sun-shaped box into her hand. “Keep it. It belongs to you.”_

_“Us.” Kym met his lips again. “Everything that is mine is yours now.”_

_“Even your watermelon?”_

_She snickered. “Maybe.” And at that point, their conversation had been cut off as they were joined by the rest of their patrol unit with Lukas at the helm, making some comment about how if he had to witness one or the other, he preferred the sergeant and lieutenant kiss instead of bicker because it involved less talking. But the rest of the unit had clapped upon realizing what had transpired and offered for the newly engaged couple to take the rest of the day off, and Kym and Will had declined. There was nothing they’d rather be doing than watching over the city they loved hand in hand._

Kym frowned slightly, disappointed that Will had left out some of that dialogue in his retelling. Perhaps it was for the best, though, she thought as she glanced at Cecilia’s sparkling brown eyes. Perhaps it was best that she imagined her parents as forbidden lovers who, the instant Will was freed from his loveless courtship, immediately fell into each others’ arms. Perhaps it was best that he had omitted the fact that they didn’t get married for another year after that - they dated, they waited for his father to come around.

And he never really had. But that was alright, because a year was just enough time to save up for a place of their own. Despite all the snares, Kym was happier than she’d ever thought she’d be again just 7 years prior. As if he had heard her thoughts, shared her sentiments, Will glanced up from his pint-sized dance partner.

The Soleil parents locked eyes across the room once more.

Their love story was imperfect - but that was what made it so wonderfully theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm if you got this far then thank you for reading my holiday ship brainrot ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ again sorry I haven't posted in eons. I have been writing though, so expect some more postings in the coming weeks :)


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